Three More, Ma…

Like, six deep in some strage yard.

Today’s specials: With actual, you know, melodies and such.

Some Matt – Freedom Is Just Another Word For Oops
Some Matt – Hppy Yddhs
Some Matt – Let’s Wake Up Together Sometime

A Million Years To Sigh Part 2

A Million Years To Sigh Part 2

I Me Matt – A Million Years To Sigh Part 2
A ten minute meditation tune, with guest vocals from the Conet Numbers Project.

…fine ideas, brilliant mistakes…

Starting With Trains

I was feeling a little uninspired the other night: Audio hallucinations were a little clankier than usual.

I Me Matt – Don’t Call It A Slum, Jack

Thinking about Thinking

A great friend from the past has come back… And look where she came back from:

There She is...

Fucking amazing, huh?

Not because of it, and not in honor of it, but simply that it’s been too long since I inflicted you sorry mothers with me (and the occasion provides a perfect/wrong, perfectly right reasoning – as well as a thoroughly atrocious, shambly sentence mangling opportunity), I’m coming back too. I’m well enough, now. Can’t you tell?

Lenny Kravitz – Sitting On Top Of The World

Bill the cat

 

Bill 'n' Cat

I’ve been monkey-ing around lately…

Lake Tulaby near Mahnomen MN is lovely this time of year

I had it so good?

What I wouldn't give to be able to go where I hated being dragged to then…

When the rescue ship comes, I'll ask 'em: Got any cigarettes? No? Then scram, man!

Frank explained his diet thusly: "Cigarettes are food to me. My diet is drinking hot, brown, bitter water and devouring cigarettes."

My diet is about the same.

The next scene features alarm clocks

Day 86: Alarm Clock

…I'm waking up to the sound of my roommate making some sort of scraping sound. I lie and listen for a few minutes before rolling over and opening my eyes. I'm not even surprised that I see him obliterating the serial number from the back of a book-shelf stereo system. I look at him intently scraping for a few more seconds and then close my eyes. A few heartbeats later and my alarm clock start beeping…

M.O.A. Fun

Should you find yourself at the M.O.A. for some horrificant reason, and you just can’t stand to venture into Ambercrombie & Fitch, Forever 21, The Magnet Store, or where-ever else, here’s a fun “I Spy” game you can play:

Lost In A Crowd

How Many Can You Find?

**************************

1 Point = Woefully uneven couple matches, ex. Super-Babe with Uber-Schlub/ette or Severe-Tonnage with Stick-person. Bonus point if Schlub/ette is wearing sweatpants. Extra bonus point if the sweatpants are pink and/or say “Juicy” across the ass.

1 Point = Metrosexy guy dressed in black, with a purple, blue, or green smeared in his Flock of Numbskulls hair-do, plus outrageous length wallet chain. -1 Point if he’s outside talking with another guy that looks just like him and they’re both smoking. They work at Hot Topic.

1 Point = Each plastic-security-pass-on-a-retractable-belt-clasp person. +1 for each member, if a group. Limit five points. -1 for the sole member of that group who looks like they’d rather be anywhere than walking to a business lunch at Tony Roma’s with these assholes.

2 Points = Elderly men eating ice cream. (You’ll rack up the points here. All old men do at malls is eat ice cream.) +5 points if he’s sitting outside the Frederick’s Of Hollywood store. -5 points if he’s outside Hooter’s.

-3 Points = Anyone wearing an Hooter’s shirt. Staff excluded.

-1000 Points = You are sitting in Hooter’s.

-1 Point = Each single person hogging a four-seater at Caribou. -1 point for each of them that has earphones in, too.

+20 Points = You see me hogging a four-seater at Caribou with earphones in.

1 Point = Person on a layover with a piece of rolling luggage.

1 Point = If they look like they know where they are going.

1 Point = If they are walking into Tony Roma’s bar and smile at the uncomfortable member of the plastic-badge group.

+3 Points = They are staggering out of Tony Roma’s bar, leering around and talking to no one in particular. -3 points if they are on Blue-Tooth.

-20 Points = They are dressed in a pilot’s uniform.

1 Point = The girl who doesn’t know how to walk in high-heels, but dammit! she bought them and is gonna learn. In public. (-2 for her boyfriend, who lags 3 feet behind her and checks out every other girl.)

1 Point = Older lady (55+) with prominant tattoos, piercings, or oddly colored hair. +1 point if she is sitting in front of Frederick’s Of Hollywood.

-3 Points for every girl that sure didn’t dress like that when I was in high school! (Big point drain, this one.)

1 Point = Muzak’d version of a song that was a hit when you were in your teens. -1 point if you were humming along to it before you even recognized it. -10 points if you now are wondering where you can find a CD of it.  Just to be ironic, of course.

+2 Points = Afro!

+1 Point = Afro with Natural Comb stuck in.

-1 Point = Jew-fro.

+1 Point = Mo-hawk. +50 Mo-hawk on American Indian.

-6 Point = Faux-hawk (on anyone who’s last name isn’t Osborne and who’s dad isn’t named Ozzy. Only -3 for them.)

2 Points = Male couple in matching outerwear. -2 Points if they are brothers older that age 6.

-.5 Point = Sullen teen ignoring their parent and texting and looking bored. Watch those points drop.

+1 Point Each Girl = Group of Ethiopian or Somali girls going without hijab, wearing sexy clothes, smiling, etc. They never travel less than 3 in a group, so this could garner some big  points.

+2 Point Each Guy = Pairs of Ethiopian or Somali men looking at those girls with derision or fear. It is only ever a pair of gentlemen, hence the double points.

-1 Point = Each competing logo (Fila, Sean John, Adidas, Nike, etc) a single person is wearing.

-2 Points = Each person browsing the ‘Grills’  kiosk. +5 points with any of them actually sporting a grill (employee excepted).

+2 Points = ‘The Farmer’. Bib over-all, non-ironic trucker hat, and probably a toothpick. +1 point if the hat has a John Deere logo. +3 points if he is anywhere other than the John Deere store, the ‘As Seen On TV’ store, or the ‘Family Dollar’ store. +3 if he is eating at Hooter’s. +3 if he is eating Hooter’s food while sitting outside Frederick’s Of Hollywood. +2000 if he goes to buy an ice-cream afterwards and comes back to the same bench, like it’s a reserved seat. +2001 if he brings the older lady with green hair and facial tattoos an ice-cream too!

—–

So, there you have it! Hopefully this little pastime alleviates some of the pain of the Air Conditioned Nightmare. Remember, there are no winners and losers with this game. Only losers.

This one’s for the boys from Hot Topic: Garbage – Queer

Soul-less, Desolate... I'm right at home!

~see you in the future!

Cogito Ergo Nil

So yeah. I’ve been spending too damned much time at the M.O.A. I’ve fallen into a sort of rut with it, actually, but it’s mostly entertaining rather than annoying. Instead of getting upset with the flocks’ of sheep which treat this place as some shrine, I’ve begun trying to understand what makes them tick. Um… but I’ll have to get back to you on that. I observe from afar. And in discrete time-frames. And with my back towards them. Did I say ‘observe’? Maybe it’s more an ‘ignore’ thing.

There are a great number of people that actually work here – more folk than the town I grew up in, as a matter of fact – so they are exempt from my scrutiny. Everyone needs to put food on a table, right? Hell, I even worked here for a few months, a bunch of years back. At this place. Yeah, it was as fun as it looks. Anyhum…

I’ve been putting quite a few hours on my Zune, which I’ve named Sing-y, also. I don’t need to listen to whatever elevator-styled, Lionel-Ritchie-for example,  Musak they’re playing here. Nope. Don’t need it!

I keep the Sing-y on shuffle, usually. I’m too damned indecisive/ distracted on most days to figure out what I want to hear. I might just scroll through menu after menu for an hour and end up watching an episode of Moral Orel instead. Yes that has happened. More than once.* Besides, I have perfect taste in music, right? And will undoubtedly dig whatever pops up on random, right?

For the most part it works out. Kind of like a radio station playing music I’ve put into it’s rotation. (By the way, if you ever need a break from your own collection and want to hear a great selection, tune into The Current. It’s Minnesota Public Radio, and it rules. Cool things like The Current sort of balances out the douchiness of things like M.O.A. here in the Land Of 10,000 Lakes.) Anyzoo…

An artist that has come on random and really surprised me a couple of times is… Wait for it… Charles Manson. I guess I’m not the only person who’s been surprised by Manson – or at least some of his friends! Zing! But seriously, some of the chord changes are quite nice; most of the lyrics are fairly positive (though a bit menacing, in retrospect); and he wrote what fit his voice. I mean, he’s no David Crosby or anything like that, but the guy could hold a tune.

 

Ol' Chuckles

Arkansas is not one of the songs that immediately stabbed grabbed me, but by posting it I can then segue easily into The Brian Jonestown Massacre’s Arkansas Revisited. If I had that one Guns & Roses disc I could put up another cover song, but alas… The only G&R I’ve got is a dance mix of Welcome To The Jungle, and that ain’t gettin’ play here ’cause it just don’t fit! What is fitting, though, is Flaming Lips’ Charlie Manson’s Blues. And, I guess since it’s predictable already uploaded and all, and the guy (re)named hisself after Chuck, and all,  I’ll throw in the obligatory Marilyn Manson tune. The song has got fuck all to do with Manson (Charles), but it’s fucking great! So there.

And finally, as a special treat for you (actually a narcissistic treat for me), three pieces by yours truly,  made over the past few years: Manson, Third-Eye Guy and, with backing vocals from The Girls and special piano accompaniment by President Richard Nixon, Richard Milhaus Manson. Enjoy!

 

* But I’m seriously: Moral Orel = great. Haven’t seen it? Damn, fool! Go watch an episode or two. They’re only about 11 minutes each. Go! Go! We’re done here!